


with you, all I get is wild thoughts

by Shadith



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War (Marvel), Fix-It, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Sam Wilson Birthday Bang, friendly stalking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:48:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12197154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadith/pseuds/Shadith
Summary: Sam knew his life would never be the same after meeting Steve. Being an Avenger was never going to be dull. Still, he hadn't figured on it turning into a Lifetime movie either. Complete with brainwashed assassin S.O. Oh and lawyers. He was going to need so many lawyers.





	with you, all I get is wild thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> written for the Sam Wilson Birthday Bang, and I finished it. Yay!
> 
> a huge thank you to my wonderful artist,[chase_acow](http://archiveofourown.org/users/chase_acow), who despite not having much to work with gave me this lovely piece [here](https://i.imgur.com/loAu716.jpg)

**London, England**

Sam sat at the hotel bar, peering down into his drink. Well, this was certainly turning into a fine mess he thought. But what did he expect? It was why'd he'd gotten out of the service to begin. He wasn't about to sign himself up for that again. "Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor which is one more than you have," he muttered mockingly. "Yeah, well. Secretary Ross chased the Hulk through fucking Harlem. I didn't see anybody knocking him down a rank." 

He'd tried not to silently fume over Rhodey's comments but they really stuck in his craw. He'd seen plenty of corrupt military officials; a shiny medal wasn't enough to impress. And he didn't appreciate the question dodging or ad hominem attacks either. It didn't matter how many people agreed if it was wrong. No, he wasn't cool with it. But neither was he cool with signing his rights away. Especially not being gang-rushed into it. Three days. They had three days to decide. Not that he needed three days. 

Friday was a very helpful A.I; he only had to ask three questions. How long before the Avengers were lo-jacked like criminals, what did registration require and what happened to those considered 'dangerous'. He hadn't liked a single answer Friday had given. He was pretty sure Friday hadn't liked being referred to as 'strictly prohibited' either.

"C'est la vie," he murmured then drained his glass. The sound of the bartender cursing as he reached for a remote drew his gaze. As the broadcast played, Sam stared in shock at the screen, hand scrambling blindly for his cell. He was going to need a lawyer. Maybe two. Or they were going to bury him under the jail. "Pick up! Pick up! Pickup!" He pleaded, cursing when the call went unanswered. Of course, he wasn't answering. He hung up, pushing away from the hotel bar as he dialed someone who could hopefully help. He started talking before the voicemail had even finished.

By the time he’d explained everything or as much as he was willing to explain, he’d caught up with Steve and Sharon. Hand clutching his phone as he came to an abrupt stop. “Steve, I need you to stay calm. Kay,” Sam said holding his hands out as if he could physically hold back the tidal wave of Steve’s temper. “There’s something you need to see.”

In Sharon’s room, Sam watched Steve’s face as he stared in horror at the screen. He could hear his mother’s voice talking about chickens coming home to roost and had to fight back a wince. He’d held his silence for good reasons. Also, he’d been planning on coming clean before this. After what happened with Rumlow, he’d known he’d have to bring Steve in. But then Ross had shown up and Carter had called. There never seemed to be a good time amidst all the crap hitting the fan.

“I have to go to work,” Sharon said tossing her phone onto the bed as she turned to face Steve. She could see the pain on his face and it tore at her heart that she might be adding to it. 

“I have to be the one to bring him in,” Steve said spinning to face Sharon before Sam could even speak. “You have to talk to your boss, let me try."

“I don’t know about that. But I can get you both on my flight out,” she offered as she started repacking her go-bag. She had to get moving now, if she wanted to be in Vienna in time to do anything.

Sam stared down at his hands warring with himself. He knew how Steve felt about Barnes. He was an important part of Steve’s past and future. And maybe if he’d come clean earlier he wouldn’t be in this predicament. But it is what it is. He’d given his word. Hopefully, Steve would understand that. It’s not like he hadn’t been planning to after the utter disaster of Lagos.

If he explained everything now, Steve would want to rush off gung-ho. He always did. He seemed to forget that Barnes was a grown-man fully capable of taking care of himself, now that he was out of Hydra’s hands. Of course, Sam understood that. What he also understood was that Steve had no chill. He could almost always be counted on to escalate any situation. James Buchanan Barnes was like a red flag. They did not need for this to get any worse. He needed someone who could keep their head. He needed Natasha. Hopefully she could talk some sense into Steve. “I’ll just go get us packed up. Steve, you can check us out.”

 

**Vienna, Austria**

_ Sam has never been able to tell Claire no. Not when it wasn’t important. Now he’s in a club with his ex and his ex’s girl, making like a third wheel. It’s been more than nine months of dead-ends, though. And Steve’s last kicked puppy look had driven Sam to agree to a week in cold ass Russia searching for Waldo, oops Barnes. But he was going to forget all that tonight. Sam planned to spend most of the night on the dance floor with Claire and her friend Colleen. Taking a few spins with a couple different women and the occasional guy whenever the girls head back to the table.  _

_ Claire pulled her arms from around his neck gesturing towards the bar. Sam shook his head, he was already going to need a cab home. Well, maybe not. He was halfway to going home with Matt and Claire. He leaned closer lips pressed to her ear. “Don’t let Matt have too many more,” he murmured, pulling her close. Claire leered giving a slow grind of her hips. “Kay,” she nodded, slipping away. Before Sam even had any time to miss the warmth of her body another was taking its place. Strong arms wrapping around him from behind were followed by a growl in his ear, “Can I have this dance, doll?” _

_ Sam froze. They’d been playing cat and mouse for months now. He’d known Barnes was tracking him. With Steve back with the Avengers, Sam’d thought he’d permanently lose Barnes. Except he was finding more traces of him (hydra agents tied up like parcels) now than he ever had when looking with Steve. Like the man wanted him to find him. It looked like he’d given up waiting though. _

_ He turned in the loose hold, noting that Barnes grip was firm but not unbreakable. Finally, face to face with the man for the first time in months. He looked good. In fact, he looked hot. Hair clean, tied up in a man bun. Which actually looked good, when he Sam usually thought they looked stupid. It made his fingers itch to untie it, gave him wild thoughts. _

_ “So, that’s how it is?” _

_ Barnes pressed closer, almost burying his face in the curve of Sam’s neck. Voice low as he murmured in his ear, “It’s however you want it.” _

Sam startled awake staring up at Steve dazedly for a long moment. He sat up hurriedly, “Landed already?”

“Yeah,” Steve answered as he grabbed their things from the overhead bin. “Sharon’s already gone ahead. I’m going to try to get a look around, see if I can get in touch with Natasha.”

Sam nodded groggily, shoving himself to his feet to follow Steve. 

“There’s a café nearby. Sharon’s going to meet us there when she can,” Steve threw over his shoulder as he sped through the airport. Sam followed in silence, making and discarding plans almost as fast as Steve was moving.

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," he hissed almost chanting his new mantra into the phone. This g-ddamn ridiculous, he thought. It wasn't like the man talked to anybody else. Okay, that wasn't true. Still now was not the time to develop a social life. "You're being targeted. Get gone." Feeling like a lunatic for leaving the same message for what felt like the hundredth time, he ended the call. Dropping the phone onto the counter as he clutched his lukewarm coffee. It had been such a shit week. 

Sam glanced up as Steve walked in and sighed. Well, it wasn't like he'd held out much hope for Natasha getting through to Steve. But this could still be salvaged as long as Barnes stayed out of sight. They hadn't found him in two years. He didn't think anyone else had much of chance. Of course, they also hadn't splashed his face on every channel and newspaper either.

Turning to face Steve, Sam took a steadying breath. There was never going to be a good time to tell Steve. Though this was likely only to add fuel to the fire Steve had going. But better they go in both knowing the deal. "So, I should probably tell you Barnes didn't do this. He couldn't have."

Steve’s eyes snapped to Sam. Every hesitation, every oddity, every awkward silence flashed by like a highlight reel of the last year. “How long?” Steve asked, his voice gone painfully soft.

Sam fought the urge to cringe. Sometimes being an adult meant having to make shitty choices. Like choosing between two people he cared about a helluva lot. “Seven, maybe eight months. I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you. He’d finally agreed the night before the Lagos mission.” Sam winced as Steve’s grip dented the bars railing.

When Sharon arrived looking grim, Sam barely refrained from throwing his hands in the air. The one time he needed James to be a ghost. At least it was enough to divert the main force of Steve's ire. Though he still felt pinned like a bug beneath his glare. Steve had yet to even look at Sharon.

Sharon's gazed darted between the two of them. "Somebody wanna tell me what's going on?"

Sam shrugged, "Nothing. What you got?"

Sharon's look was disbelieving as she fixed her gaze on Steve. Who looked like he was one word, from going over the edge. "Tips have been pouring in since that footage went public. Everybody thinks the Winter soldier goes to their gym. Most of its noise. Except for this." She dropped the folder onto the bar. 

Steve didn't even glance at the folder his gaze locked on Sam. Which surprised Sharon, she'd expected Steve to zero in on any information regarding Barnes.

Sharon took a step back, taking in the two men. The tension between them beginning to make her uncomfortable. "My boss expects a briefing, pretty much now... so that's all the head start you're gonna get." 

"Thank you," Steve said quietly, not looking away from Sam. 

She'd done what she'd set out to do, Sharon thought. Whatever this was she hoped it didn't lead them all to disaster. But right now, she had a job to do. So—"And you're gonna have to hurry. We have orders to shoot on sight."

They sat in silence for a moment after Sharon left. Sam watched as Steve took several deep breaths then slowly unclenched his hands.

“Sam—”

“You’re upset,” Sam interrupted, not wanting to give Steve time to get into it. They could argue about this later. They were on the clock now. “I get that. But someone is trying to set Barnes up. We can hash this thing between us out later. Right now, keeping Barnes safe is priority. Agreed?” Sam could see Steve struggling with not only his temper but what looked like every emotion he’d buried since coming out of the ice.

Finally, Steve seemed to breathe again. “Agreed. But you and me, later.”

Sam refrained from comment. Sometimes it was like dealing with Gideon squared.

**Bucharest, Romania**

Sam was regretting everything right now. Meeting Steve Rogers. Becoming an Avenger. Sleeping with James. All of it was seeming like a bad idea at the moment. Granted it was partially his fault. Steve had wanted to take the lead but Sam had figured that was not a good idea. There was no need to punch their way out of this one. He'd get James. They'd fly out. Boom, cut the check. But, no. No. Of course, that's not how it went. Some asshole wanted to act like he couldn't understand the words hold fire. Which if he'd been firing at James it might not have gone so terribly wrong. James did not take well to anyone being a threat to his birdie.

_ Sam peered down at the dead bodies, then up at the nearby rooftops of the probably not so abandoned buildings. This was the third time in almost as many months his silent stalker had kept him from being ambushed. He'd feel better about it if Barnes would show himself. Or make contact. At the moment, he felt like a particularly amusing mouse. Ever since Steve had been called back to the Avengers his cold leads hadn't been quite as cold as he'd thought. Well, actually, they had. It was just that he'd apparently picked up a tail along the way. A rather murderous tail but who was he to judge. Especially when it happened saving his ass. _

Not to mention that time with Ultron's robot soldiers, so it wasn't like there was no precedence.  Still, this was getting ridiculous. It was like a soap opera, with one improbable thing after another. The shooting had sent James into defensive mood. 

When they'd gotten breathing room, Sam had flown them out of the building. He'd been aiming for a nearby rooftop when two hundred pounds and six feet of pissed off cat landed on his back. Which what the ever-loving fuck?

Then Steve 'No Chill' Rogers showed up.

And now they were all riding in the back of a converted dump trunk like common criminals.

Yeah, he was definitely going to need that lawyer.

**Berlin, Germany**

Sam debated with himself as they trailed behind Deputy Director Ross and his minions. Everything about this stank. The question was; did he spring the trap now or wait for it to go off. There were pros and cons to both. But he favored waiting at least that way they might find out the who and the why. He best bet was someone wanted to use James. He could think of thousand ways. But they were in for a helluva surprise. He couldn't quite stop the grin that slipped out.

Natasha slid up beside Sam, eyeing him warily. "What are you up to?"

"Me?" asked Sam, innocently. "Not a thing."

Natasha snorted. "So why is Director Ross's secretary playing keep away with the Israeli Ambassador to the U.N.?"

The grin became a smirk. "I'm sure I wouldn't know."

Natasha glared. "Okay, bird-boy. Spill."

"Just think about it, Natasha. The man's a ghost. Two years not a peep. Then he lets himself get photographed while planting a bomb, he's got no reason to plant." Sam shrugged. "Sounds like a set up to me."

"He might have gotten sloppy," she pointed out. "Or some leftover from Hydra got a hold of him."

"Or he might have been elsewhere and otherwise occupied," Sam volunteered, with a knowing look.

Natasha's eyes widened in disbelief. "You—"

Sam shook his head, "Not until I see a lawyer."

Natasha grinned large and bright. "Look, who’s playing with the big boys now. You know Steve's going to kill you."

Sam glanced toward the room Steve and Tony were currently arguing in. "Steve's got bigger problems. The Sokovia Accords are just the beginning."

Natasha and he shared a glance. "It's going to get ugly."

Sam dropped into a seat at the table. "It's always been ugly. It's just pointed at a group we all happen to be a part of. I don't know about you but I'm not comfortable with the idea of being lo-jacked. Signing the Accords means agreeing to that and a half a dozen other human rights violations."

Natasha settled in the chair beside him. "This isn't going to end well is it? I thought we could compromise. Try to fix things from the inside.”

Sam tried not to give her a look, but it must have slipped past. Because she smacked on the arm and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know that sounded unbelievably naïve.”

“Steve’s focused on the Avengers, I’m worrying about more kids like Wanda. With nobody to back them up. But you weren’t wrong. Having an insider could make all the difference. We’re going to need all the allies we can get.”

The echoing crack of a slamming door made both look up. Steve’s glare moved from the floor to where they were seated.

Natasha stood. “ Time to work.”

Steve barely spared Natasha a glance as he made his way over to Sam. Pulling out a chair, he settled directly across from Sam. His gaze moving from the screens fixed on Barnes to Sam. 

Sam waited. Steve was rarely capable of maintaining silence when he was this worked up. He let his own gaze move to the monitors. James looked calm, well at least he had resting murder-face. The doctor they were waiting for hadn’t arrived yet. 

“Sam, why?”

Sam turned to face Steve. “Is that really the question you want to ask? Right now, Barnes is safe. Hopefully, whoever’s behind this latest incident has been stalled. You got time to take a minute. Take it”

Steve sat back taking in Sam’s calm demeanor, considering. Bucky was despite being locked up, here and whole. So, what did he really need to know? Sam was one of the few people he trusted implicitly. If he’d known where Bucky was and hadn’t informed Steve there’d been a reason. The most likely one, was Bucky hadn’t wanted Steve to know. No matter what Steve wanted or Sam wanted for him, Sam would have done what Bucky needed. Especially, if he’d proven himself mentally capable. Sam did what he felt was right. He couldn’t hold that against Sam. Yeah, knowing would have maybe prevented what happened in Lagos. But that was a big maybe. Rumlow pushed his buttons. Steve had let him. That was on him. Even knowing Bucky had been safe wouldn’t have kept that from happening. 

Sam watched Steve. Despite his open demeanor, he could occasionally be hard to read. The Captain overwhelming Steve. Now, though he could almost see every thought as it crossed his mind. As Steve relaxed so did Sam. 

When Steve finally, looked back up. Sam met the calmer gaze and grinned. Steve’s return grin wasn’t as bright as it usually was but it was the first time Sam had seen it in days. “How is he?”

“Himself,” Sam offered. “He has his moments like any vet. But he at least takes advice better than someone I know. He’s got a therapist, he sees twice a month.”

Steve looked away, a red flush filling his cheeks. Sam rarely brought it up now, but he’d suggested more than once that Steve maybe ought to see someone. He glanced up at the screens to see the evaluator had finally arrived. “How do you think he’ll do.” he asked, titling his head toward the scene.

Sam leaned back, crossing his arms as he settled in for the wait. “I think he’ll do fine. He’s been pretty much himself since about six months after he took off. Seems his serum works as well as yours if not the same.”

Sharon’s arrival pulled their attention from Barnes. “The receipt for your gear,” she said, handing one to Steve who took it absentmindedly, gaze and thoughts already back on Barnes.

“Bird costume? Oh, come on,” Sam protested.

“I didn't write it.” Sharon watched Steve watching Barnes. She stepped closer to controls, casually pushin a button. Sound filled the room. Steve’s grateful thanks enough.

The evaluator’s calm tone echoed slightly in the cavernous room. “ I'm not here to judge you. I just want to ask you a few questions. Do you know where you are, James? I can't help you if you don't talk to me, James.”

Bucky’s gaze darted around the room, pausing for long moments on the cameras. As if aware of his various watchers. “My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Sergeant. 32557421. You can call me Barnes.”

Sam snorted back a laugh as Steve grinned. That was Bucky always ready to start shit.

Sam shifted until he as facing Sharon. “By the way, he didn’t bomb the U.N.”

Sharon settled a hip onto the table beside Sam. “You’re saying he’s being framed. Why?”

“To get people looking for him.” Steve answered quietly. “Bomb the U.N., then release that picture. That’s a lot of eyes looking.”

Sam nodded. “We looked for him for two years. Never found him. But this turns a lot of heads.”

“Yeah, but that doesn't guarantee that whoever framed him would get him. It guarantees that we would.” Sharon straightened abruptly, gaze snapping to the interview on the screen. 

“Yeah,” Steve frowned.

Sam stood moving closer to the screen as if it would put him closer to Barnes. His eyes fixed on the man questioning Barnes. “What do we know about this doctor?” He reached out, turning the volume up.

“Tell me, James. You've seen a great deal, haven't you?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” growled Bucky.

Sam stiffened as the doctor ignored a stated preference. “I think we should head down there,” he cautioned.

Steve met his worried gaze.

“You fear that... if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop. Don't worry,” the evaluator said gaze moving to a tablet laid on the table. “We only have to talk about one.”

Sam and Steve started toward the doors, moving on instinct.

“Sub-level five. East wing,” Sharon called after them.

The lights flickered and almost without thought they started to run.

As he ran Sam’s thoughts kept returning to a night over six months past.

_ Sam could feel the eyes on him. He pulled the pillow closer, pretending sleep. He wasn’t ready for the upcoming discussion. Though he was overwhelmed by the trust James had in him, he wasn’t sure about accepting it. At the moment they lived separate lives, so there was no guarantee of him even being close enough to help if something went wrong and the Winter Soldier emerged.  _

_ Still, Xavier's words echoed back to him. There was no way to remove all the brainwashing at once without causing irreparable damage. It would take time to reverse over seventy years of damage. But the telepath could give them a failsafe. A way to mitigate damage if James was ever caught in a flashback or was forcibly reverted to his Winter Soldier persona. _

_ The soft press of lips to his shoulder, drew him from his thoughts. “Yes,” he offered almost helplessly. He could do nothing else. _

As they turned a corner, the sight of bodies haphazardly strewn across the floor spurned them on. Steve outpacing Sam by bare moments as he careened into the cell. Spotting the doctor cowering on the floor he reached out yanking him to his feet. “What did you do? What do you want?” rattling of questions without pause, Steve pinned the man to the wall.

Dead eyes met Steve’s though the man’s grin was smug as he answered, “To see an empire fall.”

There was a blur of movement, a hit that sent him flying. “Bucky—”

Sam was in front of him before he’d finished climbing to his feet. Steve grabbed for his arm intending to yank him out of harm's way when Bucky stopped abruptly.

The doctor shifted nervously. “Soldat attack,” he snapped finally.

Bucky lunged forward. Steve reached out toward Sam only to be kicked through the door. He hit the ground hard, but was on his feet within seconds charging back in. Stumbling to a stop as he caught sight of Bucky, who was wrapped around Sam. The doctor was staring in dismay at the two.

Sam’s grin was wide and smug. “Ain’t no fun when the rabbit got the gun, huh?”

There was a soft snort, almost smothered into the back of his shoulder. Sam gripped the arms wrapped around his waist. “Now that we’ve brought an end to your little fun in games, someone’s got some explaining to do.”

Steve glanced up as the lights came back on. “Time for a lot of explaining actually.”

Sam nodded, they had time now. Crisis hopefully averted. 

  
End. 


End file.
